


nonetheless (in dreams, or reality)

by Scribblurri



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Marineford Aftermath, Monkey D. Luffy Loves His Friends, Nakamaship, actually this is partly happy I swear, bc who doesn't love that angst :'), luffy loves his crew so much, luffy pov is so hard you guys, maybe bittersweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:08:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23605813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribblurri/pseuds/Scribblurri
Summary: Luffy doesn't confuse the dreams in his sleep for reality.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates, Monkey D. Luffy & Portgas D. Ace
Comments: 10
Kudos: 105





	nonetheless (in dreams, or reality)

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: "Thank you for letting me love you."

Luffy doesn't confuse the dreams in his sleep for reality. 

Hasn't even once, since Jinbe reminded him of what he does and does not have left. 

It's not that nightmares don't happen, because of course they do. Blood on his hands and dying embers and smoldering ashes and _thank you for loving me_ ; it's burned into his mind (and onto his chest) whether he's asleep or awake, and despite the gaping hole left on his heart, Luffy makes acutely sure to keep track.

(He knows very clearly what he does and does not have left.)

Amidst the Marineford of his mind reoccurring day after day, Luffy's learned to think and say, _"Oh, this one again."_

It never doesn't hurt, and it never won't hurt. But there's nothing else he can say.

Training with Rayleigh becomes enough to focus on, because he _will_ learn to fight to keep what he has left, and the nightmares don't really come to him then.

When Rayleigh leaves and Luffy is alone, the dreams come back, and even then, Luffy doesn't falter. Over and over, he listens intently and holds his brother tightly even as his warmth goes old, _so cold_ , as his heartbeat grows fainter, and he always, _always_ hears the last shred of vivre card burning up into ashes.

(He still cries, but that's nothing new.)

* * *

But then, at Sabaody, he hears shouting behind him.

_Zoro's voice. Sanji's voice._

Sheer, overwhelming joy bubbles up in a way he hasn't felt for so long that he wasn't even sure he could feel joy anymore; wants to tell them how they're amazing and awesome and the best crew anyone could ever ask for. And when his whole crew is in front of him, _here_ with him, on their _Thousand Sunny_ of wonders and dreams, he's _never_ been more grateful in his life, because it's so breathtaking that they're all _his_ , and no one else's.

"Thank you for listening to my selfish request for these past two years," is what he settles on, because he wants to say thank you to them in so many ways: thank you for meeting me, thank you for following me, thank you for listening to me, thank you for waiting for me, thank you for _being here_ , 

(thank you for loving me,

and thank you for-

Huh.

He hasn't told Ace that one yet.)

But instead, standing before his crew as they set sail for the first time in two years, Luffy laughs brightly, happily. They don't need to hear it. They probably already know all that, huh?

* * *

Marineford comes back to him one day, still the same as when he left it, still _this one again._

But Luffy thinks that's not what he wants to say this time. That's not what he wants to say when he gets this chance to see Ace again.

Ace says to him as always, "Thank you for loving me."

And so Luffy says something back this time.

"Thank you for letting me love you."

* * *

He still dreams of Ace after that.

But instead Ace is beside him and healthy and happy, and they're doing something fun like hunting crocodiles or eating ramen or sleeping side by side by a fire in Alabasta.

Luffy doesn't confuse the dreams in his sleep for reality.

(He knows very clearly what he does and does not have left.)

But Luffy's happy nonetheless, in his dreams or in his reality.

**Author's Note:**

> Damn Luffy is a nightmare to write haha
> 
> Just meant to be a short practice at Luffy introspection


End file.
